I’m not sure if this is typical, but as long as I can remember I’ve
known that my cock had two distinct states. I thought of the larger,
stiffer, and more infrequent one as “big,” and the process of erection
as “getting big.”

And as long as I can remember, I’d had a habit of playing with my erect
cock. Just innocent fumbling, touching, and squeezing; no rhythmic
stroking, rubbing, or thrusting. Sometimes when it was soft I would
touch and squeeze until it got hard, sometimes for hours until I became
distracted. It was a perfectly innocent thing, though …